Farewell bid: Your life is anew

"With my head buried in my hands and with trickles of tears rolling down my face, this poem is all I could give to my heroes retiring today (30th June 2011) "

It is time to be old to take a sail;
To the shore from the deep blue waters;
Where the tides are strong and high;
To seek a place green and calm;
For these senescent nerves to perch.

It is time to abandon the rudder.
And reef this sail no more,
For the blissful shore is near.
And thy voice thence is clear,
That this ship finally will dock.

With faith that comes of self-control,
The truth that never can be proved,
We shed these tears but not in fear,
That thou would leave and we might sink,
But for our parts that you take with you.

We'd hold the brief while you are gone.
Dance and rejoice for your bliss has come.
The God of bounds sets high your sky,
That your height shall know no bound.
And beyond this yonder cloud,
Your life is again anew!

Death...

The most dreaded of all Spiritual sages.
My friend called you the doom-bringer of all ages.
But for His covenant you visited Christ,
And brought salvation to all races.
For your presence, we have new essence.

It was joy you brought,
When you visited my enemies,
You struck their camps,
And broke their lamps.
You kept them in eternal darkness.
And their voices in endless silence.

You are the sacred incorruptible obedient servant .
The weapon of mass destruction.
A dreadful weapon in the hands of a good God.
Swift in action,
Diligent in deeds.

You are the journey-walker,
Who sees everyone through Life.
Sometimes, you walk long.
Other times, you walk short.
With me, you are still on.
And I hope you'd still be.

With you rest our accounts of time.
You hold the stopwatch of life.
A complete halt to speed.
The terminal for journeys.

It amazing how you work.
You visited Pharaoh,
And stopped tyranny.
You visited Ahmad,
And brought Peace.

Place or time matters not.
Person or being is trivial.
For every life that is given,
You are the final collector.

I sing a song of Praise to Him,
The Giver of Life.
He, who created you and I.
And on Whose instructions only,
You can visit me.
The ultimate reason, I am fearless of you.

Before I sleep...

A few hours there are today,
Many things left undone.
Though many accomplished in the past,
For what is left undone,
Today is insufficient.
Yet, tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Then I ask,
"How much joy will I received,
if i become all I desire today?"
I know I can't be happier.
Cos' I will be very happy

But If joy is exhausted today,
Why live tomorrow?
More so that it is not guaranteed.

If I lose everything today,
And receive so much pain than I can bear,
But my life is not taken,
What do you think of hope and faith?

Aren't those the reasons for tomorrow?

But what if tomorrow never comes?
Then all hopes shall die,
And Faith withered.

So If I am unhappy this day,
and tomorrow is to fade away,
Into an unending night,
Of pain and agony,
Blames and Regrets,
Then I would have been conquered in day,
Moving into the night a defeated man,
So tomorrow might never come.

So before I sleep,
I'll put up a smile,
Even without much accomplishments,
I survived the day.
A reason good enough to be happy.
Maybe with the same smile,
I'll conquer the night,
Forcing tomorrow to come,
And rekindling Hopes and dreams

10 lessons I have learnt

1: Life is too short, live it;
2: Don't start what you cannot finish;
3: When you start, don't quit;
4: There is no time to excel, those who do, do before the time there were pronounced;
5: If rape is inevitable, enjoy it;
6: Always don't try, JUST DO IT;
7: If you excel, celebrate success. If not, celebrate trial and try again;
8: In the graves lie the bleached bones of those who at the moment of victory rested, and in
resting, lost all;
9: The tomorrow you talked about yesterday is today
10: Think, act, don't say

O-lover Twist: when love is not enough

1: When you write her all the poems but you couldn't just sing them in a song;
2: When you protect her from all dangers but couldn't just prevent her from cutting her own fingers;
3: When you get her all the jeweleries but you miss out their polish;
4: When you wipe her tears but couldn't stop her from crying again;
5: When you make laugh all the time but she couldn't laugh the last;
6: When you pay all her bills but you couldn't just go bankrupt;
7: When you make all plans for her and couldn't just make her your entire plan;
8: When you go everywhere for her but couldn't be everywhere at a time;
9: When you are hers but she couldn't just be yours
10: When you win all the battles for her and you couldn't just die in the last;

I don't mean to hurt anyone. I love the women folk. I am just thinking that some ladies are like this. The O-lover Twist are very much at large. Guys beware!!!

And finally, She's gone

Heaven was let loose. it's been long I cried. I could not help this stream down my face. I tried not to cry but my emotions betrayed me. I tried not to be shattered, but I wasn't strong enough. My promise to the blogville was to return after the first episode, I am sorry i took this long. This needed to wait. I was clumsy.

Uhm...
You know this is really hard for me to narrate but i'll give you the patches of the gist. Whole gist!!!

I have never really loved anyone until this one that crumbled. I know love is real. Love lives. The death of it I am not sure. Love is sweet. Love is bitter. Both are good but one is better. Guess which? The bitter love. (You need to figure that out.)

I called up my sweetest as promised and she turned down ALL suggestions to put up a meeting. She did not want to see me. Well, good enough for me, her precious cousin just out to bed and the christening ceremony was next sunday. Patiently I waited for the day to come. Although, it was the longest day ever to come in my life, It came and heavens fell.

The previous night, I was so heated up i couldn't sleep at home. I joined my "supposed" best friend in his crib. He is married. You can guess the feeling I got that one night. I couldn't sleep all night. Below are the conversation that took away my sleep.

@ about 6:30pm I called

Me: Hello babe. Wassup?
Her: I am cool. I am just returning from work. I'll be going to Ikorodu tonight.
Me: Ok. Where are you at now?
Her: At Ketu in a cab.
Me: Beep me when you get home. I'll call you back. ok?
Her: Ok

@9:00 her call had not come, so I called but she never picked up
@10:15pm I called again and her fones were switched off.

I tried till 2:00am and they were all still switched off. I wasn't boiling. I was done cooking. I was getting burnt. who would not?

@6:00am I called. the fone rang but she wouldn't pick it
@6:o1am called back and the fone was off. just a minute difference

Sent a text message just to track when she would switch on her fone.

It was a sunday. My friend was going to church too early an i had to return home. From Ikeja, i had to return Gbagada. Just along this journey, i got a delivery report on my fone signifying that she had switched on her fone.

I placed a call. She picked. Conversation below:

Before i could say a word:
Her: Hey! what is your problem? Why were you calling me so early?

Me: Why didn't you call to tell me you were home last night?

Her: Service was bad so i switched off my fone and moreover, you know i like to sleep well, why would you call me as early as 6am?

Me: If you switched off your fone last night, and you weren't awake this morning, who switched on your fone?

Her: Answer my question first?

I knew something was wrong. I just played fool in my response. Said sorry even when i have done nothing wrong. I just wanted to see her. I know that will solve alot.
.
.
.

I just thought I should go meet her straight in a house at ikorodu. Uhm.... GIRLS!!!

Blogville, i got to her gate, placed a call to ask her whereabout and she told me she was at home but will be out in 15minutes. The announcement that I was at her gate immediately took her to somewhere in Ketu. I was immediately ruinned.

To cut this story short, We met that same day later at her cousin's place. But just before then, I had overheard over the phone one of her family members telling her to ignore me once i get to the party. I only wanted to confirm what i heard so i went.

They were cold to me. She came over to me and let the cat out. "it is over" she said. I knew it was coming. I had prepared for it. I just wanted her to say it.

My day was ruined. Now she is gone. I am recovering so fast. Thanks to my friends and the love for my job. I could have just dropped dead walking. Thanks to blogville. You have allowed me share my experience.

I am coming out soon with things suspectible for our fallout. I'll be back!!! But before then, if your girl tells you that "sometimes love is not enough" please let her go before her love vanishes and you'd be left dead-alive

Anyway, It is exactly one month today we broke up and I am this strong.

Away from me: Where am I?

I have never really experienced a fierce battle between my body and my spirit. These past days I did. It was a replica of the Hiroshima devastation. First, it started like what I likened to the the "non-dialogable negotiation between US and Iraq". That just before the war broke out. I was feeling alot of detachment of me from me and the reasons, I do(n't) know.

Loads of events could have piled up to make me feel this way, the major of them anyone can guess.

1: I have not seen my dearest one in 4 weeks;
2: We both work in Lagos
3: She is preparing for ACCA;
4: Just got a new Job; better that her former and even mine right now
5: Called her but won't pick up until after about 16 to 69 attempts;
6: When she picks, I get words like:
"I have been studying"
"I am out in the park, call back"
"I am sleeping i need to wake early"
"it's too early to call me at 6:30am"
7: Our Q&A:
me: When will i see you?
her: gone till december. (and her birthday is 9th December)
me: Can we make a day out?
her: NO!!! (but she finds time to attend another friend's party)
me: Well, I wanna tell you that....
her: (cuts in)Call me back.... And the phone disengages!!!


I just felt torn apart. then @ work with my boss, our Q&A goes like:
boss: we have a new project blah. blah, blah... How soon can you finish?
me: COB tomorrow;
boss: great!!! I know i can count on you.

then time elapses......

boss: How far?
me: ehn... ehn... my laptop has been slow
boss: (scratches his head) We are screwded you know? i made promises to clients ............
me: I am sorry. give me today.
boss: ok

the project was finished.

During introspection.....

boss: Chief, your codes look unlike your thought
me: new ways sir. Actually I am....
boss: (cuts in) see me in the lounge. Immediately

then he suspected that i was far from within me. Thank God we have been friends. I could seen the other side of him.

I am missing this gal. I hope nothing is wrong. I'll call her now. I'll update this once i return